Dream weaver...
Jan. 31st, 2005 09:45 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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thesigother's nightmares. (Shiver.)
Ok, you don't feel like reading a nightmare?
How's this instead:
Last night my dreams were very vivid and involved. This is usually true, and I always feel like I have been robbed when they fade in my memory.
What I was dreaming about right before I woke up was very strange. Part of it took place inthegeoffrey's home, which of course had rooms from every residence I have known him to have in it. We were discussing bradhicks and trying to find him a place to stay. A friend of mine from that circle who used to go by the name of "Thomas" was there trying to sell us on the idea that Brad could come and live with him in his apartment, with his two girlfriends and their little girl. For some reason, this apartment, thegeoffrey's home and my condo were all in the same building, so we all brightened at the prospect of "living together" in the greater sense. Brad was skeptical. (Duh.) He complained about the cats, saying that the apartment would have to be "Scrubbed top to bottom" before he could move in. (Apparently the PREVIOUS owners had cats. There weren't cats in the apartment now.) He pointed out, dubiously, that there really wasn't room for another person in there, and that he'd be in the way. I suspect that the underlying current was that Thomas was inviting Brad to not only live in their home but to join the family. However, Brad naturally missed this clue. I can remember thinking, "Why is he screwing this up? How much more clearly do I have to explain this to him?"
I pointed out that since we're all in the same complex, he could set up his computer in my unit and hang out there whenever he wanted. "We're never home during the day," I pointed out.
Thenallura629 and I went to check out Thomas' apartment. He gave us the key and the unit number, sending us to look at the place since he wasn't feeling well and was crashed out on thegeoffrey's couch. We went in and decided (by their stuff) that we liked these people (no one had met these girlfriends of his yet) and we found a great number of adorable costumes for the little girl. Also, there were a stack of leather witch hats. I cooed over them, but allura629 scoffed saying, "Don't you HAVE one of those? No? Well. You could make one really easily."
This is odd, because our conversations usually run the other way with her cooing over something she wants to buy and I am thinking that I could "make it" for way cheaper. Interesting.
OF course, the whole thing is down the rabbit hole any way, since Thomas does not have two girlfriends, in fact in the whole time I have known him, he hasn't even had ONE girlfriend to my knowledge. In the dream we were a little startled by his offhand remark about his partners.allura629 probably wouldn't be trying to help me help Brad, but it could happen. The overwhelming feeling was that all of these people had come out of the woodwork to help Brad but that he kept coming up with lame excuses as to why we couldn't help him. Also, there was this element that allura629 was annoyed that I would let Brad into my apartment all the time, but I pointed out that since I lived in two places, the apartment was almost never used. (In this version, she and I both had little dorm like apartments, and then went to functionally live in "the house" most of the time, with thesigother and his kids. The apartments were apparently for storage and whatnot, and so we could have our own space. Her apartment was somewhere else, and mine was in a location that she disapproved of, because she thought that the neighborhood was shady.)
The last thing I remember (which I was still dreaming about as I woke up) was that Thomas had asked me (with some urgency) what the Holiest object in the world was. I had been going through a logical progression, building my argument piece by piece, pointing out obviously "Holy" objects and rejecting them for whatever reason. My chain of logic had to do with the fact that all religions classify differing (and frequently contradictory) as "holy." One must make a very broad, all-encompassing definition of "Holy" in order to answer the question. What I thought as I drifted into actual consciousness was, "Children are the holiest objects in the world, so I will say that it's the hands of a child." If I were really cool, I'd have said "The Winslow."
Of course, I have been analyzing my dreams for years, so here's the encapsulated explanation:
I am anxious about Brad, of course. I always want my friends to be friends with my friends. I like playing with the idea that my friends have these secret lives, like Thomas turning out to have two girlfriends, who are creative and fun.
Part of me wants to have my cake and eat it too. I liked the independence of having my own place, but sort of miss the vagabond gypsy lifestyle that I had when I was staying in other people's places all the time. I apparently miss the Argyles something FIERCE. (Part of me does still wish that I was living THERE. Heh. I had more ROOM in that apartment than I do here, I think.)
So, my anxieties are about other people, mostly. This is misplaced, I think, because I have a lot of issues of my own to deal with.
I am obsessively worried about Brad. (Well, duh.) Apparently my connection to him is strong enough to survive our "moment" last October.
One wonders if he wasn't being deliberately hurtful to drive me away, so that I would release him from his suicide agreement with me? (I'm one of the people he made a promise to not to kill himself.) I have some very strong ideas about suicide. (Euthanasia is another subject altogether.)
Well, off to take care of myself now...
:)
thesigother's nightmares. (Shiver.)Ok, you don't feel like reading a nightmare?
How's this instead:
Last night my dreams were very vivid and involved. This is usually true, and I always feel like I have been robbed when they fade in my memory.
What I was dreaming about right before I woke up was very strange. Part of it took place in
thegeoffrey's home, which of course had rooms from every residence I have known him to have in it. We were discussing bradhicks and trying to find him a place to stay. A friend of mine from that circle who used to go by the name of "Thomas" was there trying to sell us on the idea that Brad could come and live with him in his apartment, with his two girlfriends and their little girl. For some reason, this apartment, thegeoffrey's home and my condo were all in the same building, so we all brightened at the prospect of "living together" in the greater sense. Brad was skeptical. (Duh.) He complained about the cats, saying that the apartment would have to be "Scrubbed top to bottom" before he could move in. (Apparently the PREVIOUS owners had cats. There weren't cats in the apartment now.) He pointed out, dubiously, that there really wasn't room for another person in there, and that he'd be in the way. I suspect that the underlying current was that Thomas was inviting Brad to not only live in their home but to join the family. However, Brad naturally missed this clue. I can remember thinking, "Why is he screwing this up? How much more clearly do I have to explain this to him?"I pointed out that since we're all in the same complex, he could set up his computer in my unit and hang out there whenever he wanted. "We're never home during the day," I pointed out.
Then
allura629 and I went to check out Thomas' apartment. He gave us the key and the unit number, sending us to look at the place since he wasn't feeling well and was crashed out on thegeoffrey's couch. We went in and decided (by their stuff) that we liked these people (no one had met these girlfriends of his yet) and we found a great number of adorable costumes for the little girl. Also, there were a stack of leather witch hats. I cooed over them, but allura629 scoffed saying, "Don't you HAVE one of those? No? Well. You could make one really easily." This is odd, because our conversations usually run the other way with her cooing over something she wants to buy and I am thinking that I could "make it" for way cheaper. Interesting.
OF course, the whole thing is down the rabbit hole any way, since Thomas does not have two girlfriends, in fact in the whole time I have known him, he hasn't even had ONE girlfriend to my knowledge. In the dream we were a little startled by his offhand remark about his partners.
allura629 probably wouldn't be trying to help me help Brad, but it could happen. The overwhelming feeling was that all of these people had come out of the woodwork to help Brad but that he kept coming up with lame excuses as to why we couldn't help him. Also, there was this element that allura629 was annoyed that I would let Brad into my apartment all the time, but I pointed out that since I lived in two places, the apartment was almost never used. (In this version, she and I both had little dorm like apartments, and then went to functionally live in "the house" most of the time, with thesigother and his kids. The apartments were apparently for storage and whatnot, and so we could have our own space. Her apartment was somewhere else, and mine was in a location that she disapproved of, because she thought that the neighborhood was shady.)The last thing I remember (which I was still dreaming about as I woke up) was that Thomas had asked me (with some urgency) what the Holiest object in the world was. I had been going through a logical progression, building my argument piece by piece, pointing out obviously "Holy" objects and rejecting them for whatever reason. My chain of logic had to do with the fact that all religions classify differing (and frequently contradictory) as "holy." One must make a very broad, all-encompassing definition of "Holy" in order to answer the question. What I thought as I drifted into actual consciousness was, "Children are the holiest objects in the world, so I will say that it's the hands of a child." If I were really cool, I'd have said "The Winslow."
Of course, I have been analyzing my dreams for years, so here's the encapsulated explanation:
I am anxious about Brad, of course. I always want my friends to be friends with my friends. I like playing with the idea that my friends have these secret lives, like Thomas turning out to have two girlfriends, who are creative and fun.
Part of me wants to have my cake and eat it too. I liked the independence of having my own place, but sort of miss the vagabond gypsy lifestyle that I had when I was staying in other people's places all the time. I apparently miss the Argyles something FIERCE. (Part of me does still wish that I was living THERE. Heh. I had more ROOM in that apartment than I do here, I think.)
So, my anxieties are about other people, mostly. This is misplaced, I think, because I have a lot of issues of my own to deal with.
I am obsessively worried about Brad. (Well, duh.) Apparently my connection to him is strong enough to survive our "moment" last October.
One wonders if he wasn't being deliberately hurtful to drive me away, so that I would release him from his suicide agreement with me? (I'm one of the people he made a promise to not to kill himself.) I have some very strong ideas about suicide. (Euthanasia is another subject altogether.)
Well, off to take care of myself now...
:)
