I do not put my face... in the book...
Dec. 26th, 2011 12:02 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
kukla_tkoSomething interesting happened last night at the family gathering.
I got into a discussion with Brother 2 about the evils of Facebook, and he pointed out that the thing that got him involved with it was that all of his friends in Japan were on there. He had joined a Japanese social networking site, but all his friends said that it was crap that they were all on facebook anyway. He also indicated that his students (he's a weightlifting coach) all use Facebook *instead* of cell phones or email. He pointed out that there are now people who do not have email at all, just facebook. I do remember my frustration when I would ask people for their email addresses and they would just say, "Oh, I don't have a computer, here's my real address". However, I'd like to point out that I *still write letters*, damn it, and I use a phone, and I use email. I'd use texting if it were part of the plan, but for the last few years it costs me money to text, so I prefer not to.
I also found out that all my cousins are on FB, which really pisses me off because I set up a yahoogroup for the family years ago (before Yahoo became a virus) and no one in the family would do it. Not one person accepted my invitation. But they're all on Facebook now, which explains why I'm out of the loop on stuff.
Brother 2 said that he gets annoyed with people who say they're not invited to things because he only posted them on facebook. I pointed out that they are NOT, in fact, invited to these things. It's a bit like saying, "Hey, why weren't you at the party last weekend," when that conversation is the first you've heard of it. Attention Facebookers: NOT ALL OF US ARE ON THERE. REALLY. Have we, as Americans, become too lazy to *send an email?* REALLY? Augh.
Yes, I understand that Facebook caters to the lazy, because it has integrated calendar conveniences and stuff.
Because Bob knows that we were never able to keep track of stuff before Facebook. We all sat in our caves and wondered why we were bored and never saw our friends. We never threw parties or had social events, we never went out with our friends or attended their performances. We never once kept track of a busy social calendar using only our brain or a pencil and paper.
(headdesk)
This still pisses me off. It's going to KEEP pissing me off, apparently. Here's a solid warning to the rest of you: SOCIAL PEER PRESSURE OFTEN HAS THE OPPOSITE EFFECT ON BULLY SURVIVORS. And yes, I'm a bullying survivor. I was pressured to join Livejournal, and I only decided to join in when I decided that I had something to say that wouldn't fit in the context of comments in others' journals. I chose this forum (right here!) because it had something to offer me.
I have yet to find any part of FaceBook that I want that I don't already have via Email, email lists, and my Flickr account. Not one damn thing, people. I don't want to play games, I don't need a calendar (other than my paper one) and I don't want to sacrifice my veneer of online privacy.
You want to try to tell me that online privacy is a myth? Bullshit. The only things out there are what you put out there, except of course that Facebook gives people other than you an easy, lazy way to identify you in pictures and talk about you.
Have a listed phone number? Oh, noes! People can use the Internet to look you up! Guess what: The Yellow Pages and The White Pages have been around for almost 100 years. One could always look up an address on a person's name, phone number, or reverse search the address. One didn't even need to hire a PI to get this kind of information. Any hall of records can get you property information if someone owns a house.
This does not mean I want to put the information in the Social Network.
I refer you to my history with bullies. Facebook is beautifully suited to bullying, peer pressure, and hive mind crap.
I realize that I have self-excluded myself from Facebook, so if that is the only way you communicate or invite people to things, I'm out of the loop. I only ask that you remember that I'm out of that loop, that you take the extra millisecond and brain cell to remember that I'm not part of the gang, and that I don't want to get a fumbled apology that I didn't know about important things in your life because you couldn't be bothered to tell me about them. I'll try not to be angry that I missed your party/wedding/baby shower/event, if you'll try to remember that your social network does not include everyone you know.
Because there actually are plenty of us who do not put our face in the book. If you will be courteous to us and send off an email, I'll be courteous to you and not scream about the evils of Facebook. I think we can all get along regardless of what the computers tell us to do, right?
I got into a discussion with Brother 2 about the evils of Facebook, and he pointed out that the thing that got him involved with it was that all of his friends in Japan were on there. He had joined a Japanese social networking site, but all his friends said that it was crap that they were all on facebook anyway. He also indicated that his students (he's a weightlifting coach) all use Facebook *instead* of cell phones or email. He pointed out that there are now people who do not have email at all, just facebook. I do remember my frustration when I would ask people for their email addresses and they would just say, "Oh, I don't have a computer, here's my real address". However, I'd like to point out that I *still write letters*, damn it, and I use a phone, and I use email. I'd use texting if it were part of the plan, but for the last few years it costs me money to text, so I prefer not to.
I also found out that all my cousins are on FB, which really pisses me off because I set up a yahoogroup for the family years ago (before Yahoo became a virus) and no one in the family would do it. Not one person accepted my invitation. But they're all on Facebook now, which explains why I'm out of the loop on stuff.
Brother 2 said that he gets annoyed with people who say they're not invited to things because he only posted them on facebook. I pointed out that they are NOT, in fact, invited to these things. It's a bit like saying, "Hey, why weren't you at the party last weekend," when that conversation is the first you've heard of it. Attention Facebookers: NOT ALL OF US ARE ON THERE. REALLY. Have we, as Americans, become too lazy to *send an email?* REALLY? Augh.
Yes, I understand that Facebook caters to the lazy, because it has integrated calendar conveniences and stuff.
Because Bob knows that we were never able to keep track of stuff before Facebook. We all sat in our caves and wondered why we were bored and never saw our friends. We never threw parties or had social events, we never went out with our friends or attended their performances. We never once kept track of a busy social calendar using only our brain or a pencil and paper.
(headdesk)
This still pisses me off. It's going to KEEP pissing me off, apparently. Here's a solid warning to the rest of you: SOCIAL PEER PRESSURE OFTEN HAS THE OPPOSITE EFFECT ON BULLY SURVIVORS. And yes, I'm a bullying survivor. I was pressured to join Livejournal, and I only decided to join in when I decided that I had something to say that wouldn't fit in the context of comments in others' journals. I chose this forum (right here!) because it had something to offer me.
I have yet to find any part of FaceBook that I want that I don't already have via Email, email lists, and my Flickr account. Not one damn thing, people. I don't want to play games, I don't need a calendar (other than my paper one) and I don't want to sacrifice my veneer of online privacy.
You want to try to tell me that online privacy is a myth? Bullshit. The only things out there are what you put out there, except of course that Facebook gives people other than you an easy, lazy way to identify you in pictures and talk about you.
Have a listed phone number? Oh, noes! People can use the Internet to look you up! Guess what: The Yellow Pages and The White Pages have been around for almost 100 years. One could always look up an address on a person's name, phone number, or reverse search the address. One didn't even need to hire a PI to get this kind of information. Any hall of records can get you property information if someone owns a house.
This does not mean I want to put the information in the Social Network.
I refer you to my history with bullies. Facebook is beautifully suited to bullying, peer pressure, and hive mind crap.
I realize that I have self-excluded myself from Facebook, so if that is the only way you communicate or invite people to things, I'm out of the loop. I only ask that you remember that I'm out of that loop, that you take the extra millisecond and brain cell to remember that I'm not part of the gang, and that I don't want to get a fumbled apology that I didn't know about important things in your life because you couldn't be bothered to tell me about them. I'll try not to be angry that I missed your party/wedding/baby shower/event, if you'll try to remember that your social network does not include everyone you know.
Because there actually are plenty of us who do not put our face in the book. If you will be courteous to us and send off an email, I'll be courteous to you and not scream about the evils of Facebook. I think we can all get along regardless of what the computers tell us to do, right?
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no subject
Date: 2011-12-28 02:51 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-12-29 06:34 am (UTC)My promise is that I will never solely rely on any one social media to keep myself connected to my friends. I also believe in phone calls and personal invitations to important events.
no subject
Date: 2011-12-31 10:18 pm (UTC)The reason i am saying this is because you have and still do, your getting better at , invite people only by e-mail or on your livejournal thus excluding those who dont have either which isexactly what you are talking about in your post.
You are a wonderful person and xant remember everything. I dont get ngry because i am the one wbo is unconnected. (Typing on an android phone is a pain sorry about the typo,s)