Social Media

I recently was able to articulate some things about my online habits, and as such I'm going to make a big ol' post.

Facebook happened.
People started going there.
I wouldn't go there.
You lot wondered why.

Time passed.
Facebook happened in such a huge way that many of you don't use any other forms of communication regularly.
Livejournal went from "LJ: We Know Drama" to "What? Do People Still Post There?"
I still wouldn't go there.
You lot started to push me harder to join.

Time passed some more.
At this point, people actively bully me about facebook, or participate in "Shun the nonbeliever" bullshit behind my back and in front of my face.
I get sniping about it.
You lot have decided that I'm the old bitch on her front porch waving her cane at the world screaming, "Get off my lawn, you kids!"


Let me put this another way.

LiveJournal, MySpace, Facebook, Chat Rooms, etc: Let's think of them as social clubs. Kind of like Rivalz, or Haven, or Caffiend, except online.
One day a friend of mine calls me and tells me to meet them at Facebook. They want to show me some pictures. So I go to Facebook. I assume it's like many of these other clubs, where one goes inside and meets some people, and if you really like it you can become a member and get special privileges. I go to Facebook. At the door I'm greeted by a bland person who tells me I have to become a member in order to enter.
"Oh," I say, "Well, I just wanted to meet up with my friend and look at her pictures."
"Great. Just sign up here and let us set up your account."
"But I don't know if I want to join this club. I just want to meet my friend here. She's a member."
"Sure. But you have to sign up first."
"Ah. Ok, goodbye then."

I call my friend to explain that I couldn't get in without making an account.
"Oh. I wondered why you didn't show up. Why didn't you make an account?"

Look. I came here to LJ and read people's blogs long before I had an account. I set up this blog when I decided I had things to say and liked the system here. What's more, I like the culture here.

There's a "net culture" everywhere on the internet. Customs, social trends, and ways of doing personal business. One of the things that drew me to LJ was that the culture was one of anonymity. People chose "Usernames" instead of putting their real name out there. Oh, sure, people like Bradhicks went ahead and put it all out there, but for the most part we all wore a simple mask when we came to this club. Actual anonymous users could make remarks in the comments. One could send a link to a friend and fully expect that the friend could read the blog in question, whether they had a LJ account or not. If a user wanted to screen their content or comments, it was easy to do. Some blogs became 'friends only' during the height of the drama here.

I'm a big fan of net anonymity. Net culture that supports friendly anonymity is my preferred culture.

Facebook is the opposite of net anonymity. In fact, Facebook is eager to get everyone's business out there, under their real name. It's the purpose of that social experiment. So while I suppose that I could set up a weird anonymous account over there, and call myself Big O Dorkface or something, I would either have to repeatedly tell all my friends to not use my real name, not tag me in pictures, and actively defend my net anonymity, OR not use Facebook for what it was designed for; just be a quiet ninja who does not play with anyone anywhere.

You know who is on Facebook? Some people that would be incredibly awesome to reconnect with. Friends from College. People I went to high school with. Fans I met at one con that one time and miss terribly.
You know who else is on Facebook? My stalkers. My rabid "fans". My evil Exes. Dizzy, who I put up with for most of grade school and all of high school. The Red Scare. Cootie.

To return to our metaphor, every time I talk to someone about Club Facebook, I find out about some kind of drama. Cyberbullying, like a friend from high school who was tagged on a picture and then tons of libelous remarks were heaped upon him accusing him of being a pedophile. Identity theft, where people use the net transparency to hack Yahoo accounts, causing Yahoo to lose its damn mind and rearrange everything (GAH.) Blurred lines between work and social networks. (It's such a great networking tool! Why aren't you on there? AUGH, My MOM saw that one post. Ick, so did my boss...)

And what's more, as I predicted, I'm now being treated badly BY MY FRIENDS for not being on there. Are you new? Did we just meet? Are you aware of any time that peer pressure was any measurable way to get me to do anything ever? Have you ever seen me knuckle under for being publicly shamed about anything? Ask any of my former employers, or even the current one; those tactics often have unfortunate reactions from me.

So don't you dare tell me I'm being unreasonable when I say I'm not on Facebook. Don't you dare try to bully me about it. If you want to include me in things, shoot me an email or call me. Those methods of communication still work. My Ipad has a chat feature; if you're an apple user you can contact me on that. If you have Google, I play with the Hangout feature. I'm on Tumblr. I'm here. I'm on Flickr. (My patience is wearing thin on flickr, but I'm still there.)

I'm not the only one, either. If you would prefer to only hang out with people who go to Club Facebook, fine. I understand that it is convenient for you. I want you to remember, though, that there are plenty of people who are not on there. Not just me, but lots of people.
That's not even counting the people who have facebook accounts but never check them.

I won't join that club because I do not like the culture.
I will not join that club.
If you try to shame me for it, I will file you under people who are not friendly.

Time to put this up again

I can't express how much I love this video.
Lucas had everything he needed, and yet still somehow failed to tell the story this way.