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Have I mentioned lately that I enjoy praise?
For some people, competition is about proving something, either to themselves or to the world at large.
For some people, competition is about winning; being awarded a tangible or intangible prize, bragging rights, etc.
I find that I simply want adulation.
Capturing attention? Oh, I do that reasonably well. Any of you who have met me in person have heard my Heraldic Voice at least once, and know that I can no only capture the attention of a crowd, I even have reasonably good crowd-control abilities. So lest any of you read the above and declare, "oh, she just wants attention", I want to be clear about the distinction.
And seeing the sneering-yet-terse dictionary definitions of Adulation, (Slavish devotion, excessive flattery) I realize that maybe this is not quite the right word, either. However, for the purposes of this entry, I'm going to offer my own definition of Adulation: Throwing positive energy back at someone in reaction to their effort.
Applause, particularly enthusiastic applause. Laughter, particularly delighted and joyful laughter. The roar of noise that comes from an audience that has collectively been impressed, surprised, delighted, shocked or startled.
On a smaller scale, the individual who takes delight in my art, and tells me so. Body language, actual remarks, or just the moment of delight expressed in a bright smile or knowing grin.
I gotta tell you, some of my fondest memories come from these kinds of moments. I alter reality, sometimes at great personal cost. When someone lets me know that my alterations have improved their life... well, that's just the best thing in the world.
Sometimes applause can take the form of money. I certainly don't mind when people applaud my work/art/efforts with cash. I can't by groceries with applause, and it won't pay my medical bills.
But the kind of energy exchange I'm talking about here, this is the kind of thing I'd like to see more of in my life. As such, I intend to throw more of my energy out there. I need to limit the amount of energy I throw away on things that don't generate the cycle of energy exchange. I need to push myself harder to do the things that change the world, albeit in small ways.
I kind of feel like the new incarnation of my satyr-y self was this kind of expression. This year's Mad Scientists' Tea party was like that. Wearing my beard was like that. My roommate commented that she loves my "patter" and likes being present for the birth of that patter. I've been told that when I "channel" certain kinds of energy, it's really interesting for the people who witness it. I use my costumes to be a living story, to perform a kind of interactive piece of theater.
As such, I think I am going to sharpen my focus.
Halloween will be about wearing something fun and comfortable, but I intend to have a good time working on the make-up. The Doll Convention gives me a chance to show off my own couture, and I intend to do so. I may come up with some silly things to do down on the loop, interacting with strangers and simply altering reality around me. I might invite you to come and play, or participate, or film it or whatever.
I'm also game for random silliness, and so if you have weird ideas and want to make them happen, just hit me up. I don't actually WANT to be the person organizing all of this stuff; I wind up doing so because no one else is organizing the thing that I want to do. Watch out; I'm jonesing for a "goth night" kind of experience, and I intend to find a good venue for this so I can dress up and go dance in a non-smoky environment.
In the mean time, I do love praise. I occasionally need to be reminded that my community believes in me. I recharge my magic by soaking it up from you, from the way that my creativity sparks your imagination.
I toss the ball to you, you toss the ball to me, I toss the ball to you.
For some people, competition is about proving something, either to themselves or to the world at large.
For some people, competition is about winning; being awarded a tangible or intangible prize, bragging rights, etc.
I find that I simply want adulation.
Capturing attention? Oh, I do that reasonably well. Any of you who have met me in person have heard my Heraldic Voice at least once, and know that I can no only capture the attention of a crowd, I even have reasonably good crowd-control abilities. So lest any of you read the above and declare, "oh, she just wants attention", I want to be clear about the distinction.
And seeing the sneering-yet-terse dictionary definitions of Adulation, (Slavish devotion, excessive flattery) I realize that maybe this is not quite the right word, either. However, for the purposes of this entry, I'm going to offer my own definition of Adulation: Throwing positive energy back at someone in reaction to their effort.
Applause, particularly enthusiastic applause. Laughter, particularly delighted and joyful laughter. The roar of noise that comes from an audience that has collectively been impressed, surprised, delighted, shocked or startled.
On a smaller scale, the individual who takes delight in my art, and tells me so. Body language, actual remarks, or just the moment of delight expressed in a bright smile or knowing grin.
I gotta tell you, some of my fondest memories come from these kinds of moments. I alter reality, sometimes at great personal cost. When someone lets me know that my alterations have improved their life... well, that's just the best thing in the world.
Sometimes applause can take the form of money. I certainly don't mind when people applaud my work/art/efforts with cash. I can't by groceries with applause, and it won't pay my medical bills.
But the kind of energy exchange I'm talking about here, this is the kind of thing I'd like to see more of in my life. As such, I intend to throw more of my energy out there. I need to limit the amount of energy I throw away on things that don't generate the cycle of energy exchange. I need to push myself harder to do the things that change the world, albeit in small ways.
I kind of feel like the new incarnation of my satyr-y self was this kind of expression. This year's Mad Scientists' Tea party was like that. Wearing my beard was like that. My roommate commented that she loves my "patter" and likes being present for the birth of that patter. I've been told that when I "channel" certain kinds of energy, it's really interesting for the people who witness it. I use my costumes to be a living story, to perform a kind of interactive piece of theater.
As such, I think I am going to sharpen my focus.
Halloween will be about wearing something fun and comfortable, but I intend to have a good time working on the make-up. The Doll Convention gives me a chance to show off my own couture, and I intend to do so. I may come up with some silly things to do down on the loop, interacting with strangers and simply altering reality around me. I might invite you to come and play, or participate, or film it or whatever.
I'm also game for random silliness, and so if you have weird ideas and want to make them happen, just hit me up. I don't actually WANT to be the person organizing all of this stuff; I wind up doing so because no one else is organizing the thing that I want to do. Watch out; I'm jonesing for a "goth night" kind of experience, and I intend to find a good venue for this so I can dress up and go dance in a non-smoky environment.
In the mean time, I do love praise. I occasionally need to be reminded that my community believes in me. I recharge my magic by soaking it up from you, from the way that my creativity sparks your imagination.
I toss the ball to you, you toss the ball to me, I toss the ball to you.
