Season's Greedies
Dec. 8th, 2004 09:12 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
kukla_tkoOk, for those of you who want to present me with a gift this season (and gifting is NEVER required from ANYONE) here is a list of DOs and DON'Ts:
DO:
Bring me chocolate. Dark chocolate is lovely. Non-waxy is preferred. Orange/Chocolate combinations are heavenly.
Consumables. Smirk. Even toilet paper is appreciated. Food, paper goods, etc. A basket of fruit would be very welcome, as would any quantity of (sans MSG) food. Herbal tea, nuts, homebaked goodies... these are wonderful!
Book A Show or Help Me Earn Money. This is even more valuable than giving me stuff, it feeds me and feeds my generosity as well. I will post on this concept soon. I have opinions. Duh.
Books or Certificates To Buy Books. (Particularly from little bookshops or local fan circle booksellers. Glen Cook comes to mind, I will bet that he'd sell you a gift certificate good at the next con.) What kind? You ask. Um. Fiction is good, but I could use some resource materials, too. History, particularly middle-ages or renaissance. Costume reference guides. Is there a book you particularly enjoyed? Give me that, and write that you loved it on the flyleaf, with your signature and date. Seems trite now, but in 50 years that scribble of yours will be priceless to a forgetful old lady. Also you might become famous.
Music. I like to get CDs. I like to get mix-CDs. I don't have an MP3 player, but that may change. What kind? Oh, don't buy me any country/western. You probably shouldn't buy me hip-hop. I may listen to those genres sometimes, but I have particular taste. Otherwise, sock it to me. Soundtracks are a particular favorite. Scary Movie Soundtracks are valuable. (Scores, not song collections. I'd love to own the soundtrack to either or both Resident Evil movies. I don't think the second one is available yet, but I suspect it will be soon.)
Toys. I am still a kid at heart, and I refer you to my earlier post about dolls. Here are the collection categories:
Barbie: Fairy Tales, Wizard of Oz (all categories, actually), Fairy or Mermaid dolls, Halloween dolls.
Smaller Dolls: Starr Modeling Agency (if you can find them anymore) are wonderful for custom work, so even jacked-up nude dolls are delightful to receive. Fairies. Mermaids. MOC Sea Wees.
Naughty Toys: Hmm. Won't post the list here, but if you know me and know my taste, you're allowed to give me risque toys. Aren't sure? Email or call me, I will tell you my wish list. Hee hee hee.
Storage: Not as big a priority as it used to be, but any help is help. I could use some method of fabric storage other than the Wall Of Cardboard. Sterlite tubs are grand.
Jewelry: Hard to go wrong on this one. I have pierced ears. No metal allergies. I look good in gold and silver. I like cheap costume jewelry as much as expensive "real" jewelry. Bonus points if it was bought directly from a jewelry artisan. SUPPORT ARTISTS! Are you cheap? (I am.) Go to Amkor Trading Co, or ABC Trading on Olive. Spend $5 or less and watch me squeal like a kid when I open it. This goes for Allura, too, by the way.
Feeling really generous? Really REALLY generous? Help me buy an embroidery machine. If you want to be part of this plan, get in contact with me and let me know. It will feed me, it will provide a side business that won't fuck up my back, and you will be entitled to free embroidery for the life of the machine. I may have an opportunity soon, but I won't discuss it in public.
Are you poorer than that? Here's some Machine Embroidery Stuff that I will soon need in spades:
Machine Embroidery Thread, all colors imaginable.
Stabilizers, variety. Wash-away, Tear-away, cut-away, etc. Good stuff, and necessary.
Spray Adhesive (for embroidery. 505 is a good one)
Software. This includes embroidery designs. Stay tuned to find out which ones will be best.
Services:
Website: I need multiple websites. Host for me, pay for hosting for me, help me out. All of this I would be pathetically grateful to receive. I can give you content, I just can't get it out there.
Hands and feet: Manicures and pedicures. OMG, I love to do these, I just never buy them for myself. Wanna make it particuarly cool? Make it a day out with me, we'll go get our digits done and hang out all afternoon or something. Come on, it's a cheap date! I'll buy lunch!
Cleaning: I am going to forgo cleaning for a while, and not just as a professional sideline. My health has suffered, and until it feels strong and robust again, I will need help getting/keeping the house clean. Help clean, it counts as a present. A rare and priceless gift, really. Bonus points if you help me before Christmas so I can give my SO one of his promised presents. (Space for the kids.)
Massage. Need I say more?
DON'T:
Buy me random crap. I don't need any more leopard spotted knickknacks. I don't need Knickknacks of any kind, really. I don't care how cute that cast resin fairy from the dollar store looks, I don't need one and there's no where to put it here. Unless you are sure that it's useful or fits one of the guilty pleasure categories above, don't give it to me unless there's special significance.
For example, if you made a wonderful piece of art and want to give that to me, I will be delighted and grateful. If you're giving me a knickknack because it has a special history or significance to you (or me) that's ok, too. Please, no perfunctory gifts. I would rather that you give me a roll of Toilet paper, gaily wrapped. Seriously.
No kitchen stuff unless you are really sure that I need it. Not sure? Ask my SO or Allura. Don't ask my Mom, she hasn't the faintest clue what I need domestically.
NO CANDLES. NO CANDLEHOLDERS. NO KIDDING. I sell these, remember? So you are either getting me something that I could have gotten at a consultant discount, (and therefore you spent WAY too much money) or you are buying me candle stuff that doesn't feed my business and will merely collect dust and get in the way. I HAVE to be a candle snob, until I move somewhere with much much more storage, I will continue to be.
Now, you could always buy PL items FROM me and give them to me, but that seems silly to me. Don't you agree?
Food: Ok, I mentioned FOOD in the "DO" list. Here's some help on that score: I don't like raspberry flavored things. I have been known to eat very fresh or fresh-frozen raspberries and liked them, but I don't like candy, cookies, chocolate, coffee, or teas that are flavored with "raspberry". ICK.
Don't give me something with MSG or HYDROLYZED/AUTOLYZED STUFF in it. I cannot eat it, so I will just have to donate it to the poor. Or Brad. (Which is essentially the same thing.) This means NO SAUSAGE, by the way.
Books: Ok, I thought of a kind of book I DON'T want. Self-help books, unless there is specific wisdom you wish to share. For example, if you read The Dance Of Anger and it totally changed your life and your viewpoint, and helped you in your struggle to get sane, and you really want me to reap the benefits of its pearls of wisdom, by all means give me the book.
However, if you give me a book called "Managing Your Money" because you think I need help managing my money, I am going to manage to throw that book away. And throwing books away is a SIN.
(Grandma, I'm talking to you. I know you will never read this, but I felt a need to say it.)
Regifts: Unless they fall into the above "do" categories, don't bother. Just throw it away or donate it to charity. NO PERFUNCTORY GIFTS, DAMMIT!
DO:
Bring me chocolate. Dark chocolate is lovely. Non-waxy is preferred. Orange/Chocolate combinations are heavenly.
Consumables. Smirk. Even toilet paper is appreciated. Food, paper goods, etc. A basket of fruit would be very welcome, as would any quantity of (sans MSG) food. Herbal tea, nuts, homebaked goodies... these are wonderful!
Book A Show or Help Me Earn Money. This is even more valuable than giving me stuff, it feeds me and feeds my generosity as well. I will post on this concept soon. I have opinions. Duh.
Books or Certificates To Buy Books. (Particularly from little bookshops or local fan circle booksellers. Glen Cook comes to mind, I will bet that he'd sell you a gift certificate good at the next con.) What kind? You ask. Um. Fiction is good, but I could use some resource materials, too. History, particularly middle-ages or renaissance. Costume reference guides. Is there a book you particularly enjoyed? Give me that, and write that you loved it on the flyleaf, with your signature and date. Seems trite now, but in 50 years that scribble of yours will be priceless to a forgetful old lady. Also you might become famous.
Music. I like to get CDs. I like to get mix-CDs. I don't have an MP3 player, but that may change. What kind? Oh, don't buy me any country/western. You probably shouldn't buy me hip-hop. I may listen to those genres sometimes, but I have particular taste. Otherwise, sock it to me. Soundtracks are a particular favorite. Scary Movie Soundtracks are valuable. (Scores, not song collections. I'd love to own the soundtrack to either or both Resident Evil movies. I don't think the second one is available yet, but I suspect it will be soon.)
Toys. I am still a kid at heart, and I refer you to my earlier post about dolls. Here are the collection categories:
Barbie: Fairy Tales, Wizard of Oz (all categories, actually), Fairy or Mermaid dolls, Halloween dolls.
Smaller Dolls: Starr Modeling Agency (if you can find them anymore) are wonderful for custom work, so even jacked-up nude dolls are delightful to receive. Fairies. Mermaids. MOC Sea Wees.
Naughty Toys: Hmm. Won't post the list here, but if you know me and know my taste, you're allowed to give me risque toys. Aren't sure? Email or call me, I will tell you my wish list. Hee hee hee.
Storage: Not as big a priority as it used to be, but any help is help. I could use some method of fabric storage other than the Wall Of Cardboard. Sterlite tubs are grand.
Jewelry: Hard to go wrong on this one. I have pierced ears. No metal allergies. I look good in gold and silver. I like cheap costume jewelry as much as expensive "real" jewelry. Bonus points if it was bought directly from a jewelry artisan. SUPPORT ARTISTS! Are you cheap? (I am.) Go to Amkor Trading Co, or ABC Trading on Olive. Spend $5 or less and watch me squeal like a kid when I open it. This goes for Allura, too, by the way.
Feeling really generous? Really REALLY generous? Help me buy an embroidery machine. If you want to be part of this plan, get in contact with me and let me know. It will feed me, it will provide a side business that won't fuck up my back, and you will be entitled to free embroidery for the life of the machine. I may have an opportunity soon, but I won't discuss it in public.
Are you poorer than that? Here's some Machine Embroidery Stuff that I will soon need in spades:
Machine Embroidery Thread, all colors imaginable.
Stabilizers, variety. Wash-away, Tear-away, cut-away, etc. Good stuff, and necessary.
Spray Adhesive (for embroidery. 505 is a good one)
Software. This includes embroidery designs. Stay tuned to find out which ones will be best.
Services:
Website: I need multiple websites. Host for me, pay for hosting for me, help me out. All of this I would be pathetically grateful to receive. I can give you content, I just can't get it out there.
Hands and feet: Manicures and pedicures. OMG, I love to do these, I just never buy them for myself. Wanna make it particuarly cool? Make it a day out with me, we'll go get our digits done and hang out all afternoon or something. Come on, it's a cheap date! I'll buy lunch!
Cleaning: I am going to forgo cleaning for a while, and not just as a professional sideline. My health has suffered, and until it feels strong and robust again, I will need help getting/keeping the house clean. Help clean, it counts as a present. A rare and priceless gift, really. Bonus points if you help me before Christmas so I can give my SO one of his promised presents. (Space for the kids.)
Massage. Need I say more?
DON'T:
Buy me random crap. I don't need any more leopard spotted knickknacks. I don't need Knickknacks of any kind, really. I don't care how cute that cast resin fairy from the dollar store looks, I don't need one and there's no where to put it here. Unless you are sure that it's useful or fits one of the guilty pleasure categories above, don't give it to me unless there's special significance.
For example, if you made a wonderful piece of art and want to give that to me, I will be delighted and grateful. If you're giving me a knickknack because it has a special history or significance to you (or me) that's ok, too. Please, no perfunctory gifts. I would rather that you give me a roll of Toilet paper, gaily wrapped. Seriously.
No kitchen stuff unless you are really sure that I need it. Not sure? Ask my SO or Allura. Don't ask my Mom, she hasn't the faintest clue what I need domestically.
NO CANDLES. NO CANDLEHOLDERS. NO KIDDING. I sell these, remember? So you are either getting me something that I could have gotten at a consultant discount, (and therefore you spent WAY too much money) or you are buying me candle stuff that doesn't feed my business and will merely collect dust and get in the way. I HAVE to be a candle snob, until I move somewhere with much much more storage, I will continue to be.
Now, you could always buy PL items FROM me and give them to me, but that seems silly to me. Don't you agree?
Food: Ok, I mentioned FOOD in the "DO" list. Here's some help on that score: I don't like raspberry flavored things. I have been known to eat very fresh or fresh-frozen raspberries and liked them, but I don't like candy, cookies, chocolate, coffee, or teas that are flavored with "raspberry". ICK.
Don't give me something with MSG or HYDROLYZED/AUTOLYZED STUFF in it. I cannot eat it, so I will just have to donate it to the poor. Or Brad. (Which is essentially the same thing.) This means NO SAUSAGE, by the way.
Books: Ok, I thought of a kind of book I DON'T want. Self-help books, unless there is specific wisdom you wish to share. For example, if you read The Dance Of Anger and it totally changed your life and your viewpoint, and helped you in your struggle to get sane, and you really want me to reap the benefits of its pearls of wisdom, by all means give me the book.
However, if you give me a book called "Managing Your Money" because you think I need help managing my money, I am going to manage to throw that book away. And throwing books away is a SIN.
(Grandma, I'm talking to you. I know you will never read this, but I felt a need to say it.)
Regifts: Unless they fall into the above "do" categories, don't bother. Just throw it away or donate it to charity. NO PERFUNCTORY GIFTS, DAMMIT!
