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In which we are Vogons
Sep. 1st, 2015 05:38 pmToday I needed to do the thing to make the legal thing work.
Which thing?
Well, Bozo sold us the house, failed to disclose the wet basement, then failed to pay us what he owed us once the judgement came down.
Recently, I discovered that he was owning property again.
So I took a photocopy of the judgement to Clayton. I went to the courthouse, asked a couple of people and wound up on the 5th floor.
I was bounced around a bit and then sent to a woman in a fishbowl who told me that I needed to go online and print out a form, fill it out, get it notarized, then return with it. She said it in such a way that I assume this is her standard "script".
I went home, or at least partway home.
I went to borrow a printer.
While I was trying to print the information asked for, I realized that the people I'd spoken to so far did not understand what it was that I wanted.
I double checked the email from my attorney. She was specific: Take it to the recorder of deeds.
Well, crap. That's the other building.
NOW.
Did you know that Clayton is experiencing some construction? Specifically, the actual courthouse itself is under heavy construction. In fact, you can't enter the courthouse unless you go all the way down the block to the next light. Keep this in mind.
So I went into the other building to get access to the Recorder of Deeds. It's right next to Marriage Licenses, so many of you know exactly where I'm talking about.
I go in there, get sent to the right place, and talk to the correct person. She regrets to inform me that this photocopy can't be used by her office.
urge to kill rising
I'm going to have to go BACK to the courthouse
urge to kill rising
And get an approved copy, it's right on the 5th floor.
I breathe.
I count to ten.
I do not throw my pants. (To be fair, I'm in a skirt today.)
It's after 4pm.
I dash over to the other end of the block and back in to the courthouse. I head upstairs, go to the 5th floor, explain what I want. I'm sent to the back of the room, and then I'm told that they don't have an electronic version of this document.
They sent me to the second floor.
Most of the internal construction is happening on the second floor. There's whole sections of the second floor that... aren't.
I finally manage to find the office in question, and they tried three times to send me to the fifth floor.
I breathe.
I count to ten.
I explain that I literally JUST came from there, and they don't have the electronic copy. The dude who tried to send me back up there literally goes, "Oh, well that's something different then." He then starts to do that soft manage-this-customer voice so he can tell me that he's going to have to place an order for this document...
I LOSE COUNT.
I'd had it. I did not raise my voice, but you can ask The Girl what it is like when I *don't raise my voice.* I snarled that I'd been at this all afternoon, having been sent back and forth and between buildings and that I'd been on that damn 5th floor several times and that I needed this document TODAY. Period.
A woman stepped out from the cubicle and took command. She took the document from him, glanced over it, nodded and said, "Follow me, please."
She delivered me personally to another office; a strange little thing tucked behind several "STAFF ONLY: DO NOT ENTER" signs.
The girl there said, "Is the cashier's office still open?"
The other girls in the office said, "Nah, they closed now."
I spoke up. "Do you mean up on Five? They're still open. I just walked past them."
"Ok, so here's your request for the form. Go up to the cashier and pay, and the document will be ready for you when you get back."
BACK TO FIVE.
THE FIFTH CIRCLE OF HELL.
The cashier looks over my form and says, "That will be 1.80."
I HAD TO RETURN TO THE FIFTH CIRCLE OF HELL OVER A DOLLAR AND EIGHTY CENTS.
"Do you take cash?"
"Cash or check."
I handed her a $20.
Most of my change was in meters. For parking. In clayton.
She starts to make that stalling noise when she sees the $20.
"Well, I might have change. Let me see."
I dump out my wallet. There are two golden dollars in there from my metrolink ride yesterday.
She cheerfully gives me my 20 cents in change.
Mind you, the elevators are acting particularly hinky, and this building doesn't believe in stairwells, except as fire escapes.
But I managed to get back down to the second floor and you can bet that I breezed right past the "DO NOT ENTER/STAFF ONLY" door. The girl in the office gives me a startled look.
Heh.
Yeah. Stare at me all you want, baby. I'm here for my @&^$^%@%@!&ing form.
Form in hand, I breezed out of the building as fast as I could.
There is a skybridge to the judicial building, and this time I took that instead. It was marginally faster.
Back into the other building, and up to the 4th floor.
It's not 5pm yet.
I manage to catch the same lady I spoke to earlier, just before she left.
She sets everything up and tells me that the fee is $27.00.
I wasn't aware of a fee, but at this point it doesn't matter. I pay at the cashier (behind me, thank god) and strolled out of there. Fortunately I was trying to leave Clayton going north.
Ladies and Gentlemen: WE ARE VOGONS.
Which thing?
Well, Bozo sold us the house, failed to disclose the wet basement, then failed to pay us what he owed us once the judgement came down.
Recently, I discovered that he was owning property again.
So I took a photocopy of the judgement to Clayton. I went to the courthouse, asked a couple of people and wound up on the 5th floor.
I was bounced around a bit and then sent to a woman in a fishbowl who told me that I needed to go online and print out a form, fill it out, get it notarized, then return with it. She said it in such a way that I assume this is her standard "script".
I went home, or at least partway home.
I went to borrow a printer.
While I was trying to print the information asked for, I realized that the people I'd spoken to so far did not understand what it was that I wanted.
I double checked the email from my attorney. She was specific: Take it to the recorder of deeds.
Well, crap. That's the other building.
NOW.
Did you know that Clayton is experiencing some construction? Specifically, the actual courthouse itself is under heavy construction. In fact, you can't enter the courthouse unless you go all the way down the block to the next light. Keep this in mind.
So I went into the other building to get access to the Recorder of Deeds. It's right next to Marriage Licenses, so many of you know exactly where I'm talking about.
I go in there, get sent to the right place, and talk to the correct person. She regrets to inform me that this photocopy can't be used by her office.
urge to kill rising
I'm going to have to go BACK to the courthouse
urge to kill rising
And get an approved copy, it's right on the 5th floor.
I breathe.
I count to ten.
I do not throw my pants. (To be fair, I'm in a skirt today.)
It's after 4pm.
I dash over to the other end of the block and back in to the courthouse. I head upstairs, go to the 5th floor, explain what I want. I'm sent to the back of the room, and then I'm told that they don't have an electronic version of this document.
They sent me to the second floor.
Most of the internal construction is happening on the second floor. There's whole sections of the second floor that... aren't.
I finally manage to find the office in question, and they tried three times to send me to the fifth floor.
I breathe.
I count to ten.
I explain that I literally JUST came from there, and they don't have the electronic copy. The dude who tried to send me back up there literally goes, "Oh, well that's something different then." He then starts to do that soft manage-this-customer voice so he can tell me that he's going to have to place an order for this document...
I LOSE COUNT.
I'd had it. I did not raise my voice, but you can ask The Girl what it is like when I *don't raise my voice.* I snarled that I'd been at this all afternoon, having been sent back and forth and between buildings and that I'd been on that damn 5th floor several times and that I needed this document TODAY. Period.
A woman stepped out from the cubicle and took command. She took the document from him, glanced over it, nodded and said, "Follow me, please."
She delivered me personally to another office; a strange little thing tucked behind several "STAFF ONLY: DO NOT ENTER" signs.
The girl there said, "Is the cashier's office still open?"
The other girls in the office said, "Nah, they closed now."
I spoke up. "Do you mean up on Five? They're still open. I just walked past them."
"Ok, so here's your request for the form. Go up to the cashier and pay, and the document will be ready for you when you get back."
BACK TO FIVE.
THE FIFTH CIRCLE OF HELL.
The cashier looks over my form and says, "That will be 1.80."
I HAD TO RETURN TO THE FIFTH CIRCLE OF HELL OVER A DOLLAR AND EIGHTY CENTS.
"Do you take cash?"
"Cash or check."
I handed her a $20.
Most of my change was in meters. For parking. In clayton.
She starts to make that stalling noise when she sees the $20.
"Well, I might have change. Let me see."
I dump out my wallet. There are two golden dollars in there from my metrolink ride yesterday.
She cheerfully gives me my 20 cents in change.
Mind you, the elevators are acting particularly hinky, and this building doesn't believe in stairwells, except as fire escapes.
But I managed to get back down to the second floor and you can bet that I breezed right past the "DO NOT ENTER/STAFF ONLY" door. The girl in the office gives me a startled look.
Heh.
Yeah. Stare at me all you want, baby. I'm here for my @&^$^%@%@!&ing form.
Form in hand, I breezed out of the building as fast as I could.
There is a skybridge to the judicial building, and this time I took that instead. It was marginally faster.
Back into the other building, and up to the 4th floor.
It's not 5pm yet.
I manage to catch the same lady I spoke to earlier, just before she left.
She sets everything up and tells me that the fee is $27.00.
I wasn't aware of a fee, but at this point it doesn't matter. I pay at the cashier (behind me, thank god) and strolled out of there. Fortunately I was trying to leave Clayton going north.
Ladies and Gentlemen: WE ARE VOGONS.
