Oct. 1st, 2013

kukla_tko: (Particpation!)
I'm back in town and gearing up for the glorious weekend of Archon!

I have a bit of sewing to finish, and some shopping to do tomorrow.

Here is the more finalized plan for Archon:
If you're skipping the con, feel free to skip this, too. )

Masquerade:
I am planning an Exhibition Exhibition of Exhibitors.
If you haven't planned anything for the competition but would like to participate, please contact me ASAP. Suggestions include (but are not limited to) Previous Archon winning costumes, previous award-winning hall costumes, hall costumes you're known for cosplaying in, Ren faire garb that you wouldn't normally compete in, previously shown costumes that have not won awards, costumes you simply don't feel are worth "competing" but are fun to wear and show off, etc.
I'm hoping that with enough participants, they'll let us "open the show" with our little exhibition. This is specifically meant to show off existing costumes for an appreciative audience; we're NOT in competition. This means that if you haven't won a significant award but want to get a taste of what the stage is like, feel free to come and play. Heck, I might have something I can put on you to wear just to show it off!
kukla_tko: (own cat face)
I hear a little bit about the Facebook drama regarding Archon, its lack of a harassment policy, and its new harassment policy.

Let me be clear about this, here is Archon's shiny new
Harassment Policy
All attendees at Archon are expected to treat other attendees, guests, staff, and the general public with respect. Harassment of any kind, including physical assault, deliberate intimidation, stalking, unwanted photography, or unwelcome physical attentions, will not be tolerated. Based upon the facts of the specific situation an individual may be subject to one or more of the following:
1. 2. 3.
A warning to cease further contact with the attendee Confiscation of the individual’s badge and removal from the convention The individual turned over to Collinsville law enforcement
If you feel you have been harassed, please find the nearest Archon Security personnel (identified by an orange ribbon attached to their badge) or Archon Committee (identified by a black ribbon attached to their badge) for assistance.
Any attempt to have an innocent person removed from the convention by falsely accusing him or her of threats will be itself treated as an act of harassment and will be dealt with appropriately. The responsibility for settling interpersonal disputes lies solely with the individuals involved, and Archon will not tolerate being used as a leveraging point in such disputes.
If, at any time, you feel that your personal safety or the safety of others is in jeopardy, please contact the Collinsville Police Department in an emergency via 9-1-1. The Collinsville Police Department’s non-emergency phone number is (618) 344-2131.
You may also go directly to security operations in room 441 of the Doubletree Hotel or Con HQ (Show Office) at the Gateway Center to report an incident.


I want to state for the record that I have no problem with this policy. I also understand that part of the point of the policy is for those who are attending this large event without a circle of friends to help them if something goes weirdly.

Now, out on the fringe of this discussion are the glowering fanboys who are sure that this policy will get them evicted from the con. To them I say, "Not if you fail to be a dick during the con." This policy is not targeting anyone. This policy is to ensure the safety of the members of the convention.
And frankly, this policy has ALWAYS been in effect, even if it wasn't explicitly stated in the program book or on the website. Now it is posted.

On the other end of the spectrum, it has come to my attention that there are people who fear that this policy, particularly the bit about falsely accusing someone, will cause people to fail to report harassment. To them I say, "What?!?" If you report someone for harassing you because they harassed you, there will not be trouble for you.

In fact, I know from firsthand experience about false accusers.




What if I told you my story?
What if I told you that I was at a convention, here in St. Louis.
I was in the hospitality suite, and it was late in the evening on Saturday night. A fanboy had been flirting, not only with me but with several other ladies in the hospitality suite. I was not interested, but he continued to shower his version of affection my way, culminating *Swatting me on the ass.*
I'm sure you know how I might handle a situation like this.
What if I told you that my reaction was to grab him by the back of the neck, like a bad kitten. What if I told you that my verbal reaction was to hiss that he did NOT get to do that to me, ever.
What if I told you that I then left the party, went back to my room, and went to bed. What if I told you that I was terrified about this encounter, and that I was shaky and worried about what would happen next?
What if I told you that the asshole who thought it would be funny and flirty to HIT ME ruined my night and likely my whole convention with that little encounter?
What if it wasn't the hit that upset me, as much as the way I lost control afterward and showed him a bit of my inner monster? I've unleashed the monster before, and I always feel a little bit bad about it (and sometimes a lot bad about it) afterward.

Oh, but wait. It did get worse.
You see, that fanboy? His dad had been on committee and staff at a lot of midwestern conventions. He grew up in fandom and therefore had a little bit of an entitlement complex. This doesn't change the fact that he should have known better, both for what he did with the encounter with me, *and* what he did subsequently.
He went to the head of security and reported that I had attacked him, grabbed him by the neck (implying throat, too) and he further demanded that I be thrown out of the convention.

The only reason I wasn't thrown out was that I attended that convention with my significant other, who was on committee that year. The head of security knew me, and knew my significant other. His reaction to this story was to look for me, or my Significant other, and find out what "really" happened.
He found my Significant other, mentioned what happened, and my S.O. came back to the room to find me.
I felt completely awful when he told me about what had happened, and I volunteered to turn in my badge.
He told me that it wouldn't be necessary, and asked me about what happened.
I was still shaky and upset and it took him a while to calm me down.


Now.
What if I told you that this *is* my story, but that I'm the Significant Other on Committee for this story?
What if I told you that the first-person perspective in this story is my current S.O.?
The Fanboy? Is a Fan-GIRL.
What if I told you that this encounter upset my S.O. so badly that he almost decided not to return to St. Louis conventions? That I had to talk him down and assure him that no one was going to throw him out on sight? That he is valuable?
My S.O. is a bully survivor, and a domestic abuse survivor. Striking him will get unpredictable results. I think he showed remarkable restraint in the situation.
If the story had indeed played out the way the one above did, with me in the starring role, I might not have been so nice to that "fanboy". I was indeed once struck with a riding crop at a party. That crop was in my hand so fast that the person wielding it didn't know what happened. I did, indeed, say the exact same thing ("You do not get to do that to me") and further made him earn the crop back by apologizing and promising to never swing it without consent again. My monster is vicious and fierce, and she was born in the pain and fear of my own experience with bullies, both my peers and adults.


False reporting does happen, and it is in and of itself a form of harassment. False reporting does undermine genuine survivors' reports, it does cause the bickering of "he said/she said" and it is perpetrated by people that I don't want to associate with. I have other stories, too, where a person felt powerless and lashed out at an innocent victim to make themselves feel good.



So here's my harassment policy:
I don't tolerate it. Period.
If I witness harassment, I report it. If I suspect that someone is being harassed, I get involved. If I hear people making jokes about harassment, I shut it down. Why? Harassment is bullying, plain and simple. It is someone picking on a weaker target, no matter how you dress it up.

So fangirls, I want you to know that I'm on your side. If some bozo doesn't take "no" for an answer, or stalks you, or won't leave your personal space when you ask him to? Flag me down. I have no problem getting that bozo an 'invitation to the world'.

Fanboys, I'm on your side, too, though. Are you worried that something you say will be taken as harassment? Just think carefully about what you are saying. A compliment is a compliment. A back-handed compliment is not. Practice consent culture, and be a good person and I will have your back. Always.

Fangirls and fanboys: Don't be a dick! That's all! Be excellent to each other, and party on!

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