![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
Turkey Day
Nov. 27th, 2008 12:43 pmHappy day, you Turkeys!
Gobble gobble!
Traditionally, I use this day to reflect on the things for which I am profoundly grateful. And I'll be doing that while eating with my family this evening.
For my journal entry, however, I have something else in mind.
Turkey Day Turkeys!
Rather than the things that cause me to give thanks, here are some real turkeys from this year:
The Big Ol' Dork Show: I call my journal by this title for a reason. I am a big ol' dork, and I don't think I've told my true believers nearly enough of my dorky stories this year. My bad, more updating to come.
Entourage: More than one person has pushed me toward this awful show. It's like reading Anne Rice write about traffic. Boring as hell stories about disgusting people doing boring yet disgusting things to other disgusting people in boring and disgusting ways. I don't care that my favorite actors get cameos on it. I don't care that it's about The Industry and I'm an actor/writer/director. It bores the shit out of me for most of it, when it doesn't make me throw up in my mouth a little bit.
The Wii: Yeah, there are some things about it that are cool, and I swear this is my last statement against it. I still think that waving your arms around in front of a TV is neither fun nor good exercise. There's a sub-category for this one: Guitar Hero and Rock Band. Dude. You're not playing music, you're playing a simple first-person shooter game with an unusual and expensive weapon. It has an awesome soundtrack, yes, but don't think for a moment that you are any kind of Hero (or Guitar player). You're not. You're clacking on plastic and mumbling into a microphone. Honestly, I'd rather be in a drum circle. I'd even rather be in a drum circle with crappy drummers and I have to lead.
Ok. Done now. Folks, enjoy your Wii experience! I will say nothing further on the subject unless I'm forced.
Our Current President (as opposed to the President Elect) Dude. Eight years of this turkey. Eight miserable years. Is it done yet? (Checks oven) No, not yeeeeet...
Sarah Palin: I... she... there aren't words, really. My great terror was that *this* was the kind of person a woman had to be to gain a high office in this country. America, thank you for reaffirming my faith in my homeland.
Waffle House: They're in my diner, killing my doods! Ok, so here's the story in brief: Went to Waffle House for lunch on a Sunday afternoon. We ordered the flagship meal. We each ordered it separately, and she kept asking us to repeat our selections because she has to write it down in a special sequence. Our order goes in. Our order shows up, and when she asks us if we need anything, I answer that I want hot syrup (for my waffle.)
No waffle. No waffle. I see waffles cooking, I remind the "waitress" that I have a waffle due me. She apologizes, and then proceeds to take all the cooked waffles away to another diner. Then come back, and *start* cooking my waffle.
My meal is finished. We're ready to leave. We get up, go to pay the bill and she actually says to me, "Do you want that waffle to go?"
No. I want it taken off the bill. This requires her to knuckle a calculator confusedly, because I ordered a meal and the waffle was included. Guess what, Turkey? Go to the menu. Find "waffle" on the menu. Look at the price. Subtract that amount from my bill.
I realize that sometimes I order like a rock star in restaurants. In this case, however, I didn't do anything really unusual, other than asking that the eggs be on their own plate. I do this a lot because I am an egg segregationist, and I really don't like the other parts of my meal interfering with my eggs. But this should not have shorted me a whole waffle... *at the Waffle House!!!* (Of course, being a Dork, I realize that I shouldn't be typing this in my LJ, I should be typing it in a letter to Waffle House Corporate...)
Archon Epic Failures: Thank God all of them were not so epic as to be unrecoverable.
Rich White Dummies. Particularly ones whose houses we have to decorate. (Giggle)
Fleas. Those Turkeys!
Laptop Batteries (when they get old and cranky.) I'm having increasingly frequent laptop issues, which bothers me because it is the best machine in the house. Kukla needs a new battery for Xmas.
And my final Thanksgiving Turkey to share with you good people? The Gobbler.
Gobble gobble!
Traditionally, I use this day to reflect on the things for which I am profoundly grateful. And I'll be doing that while eating with my family this evening.
For my journal entry, however, I have something else in mind.
Turkey Day Turkeys!
Rather than the things that cause me to give thanks, here are some real turkeys from this year:
The Big Ol' Dork Show: I call my journal by this title for a reason. I am a big ol' dork, and I don't think I've told my true believers nearly enough of my dorky stories this year. My bad, more updating to come.
Entourage: More than one person has pushed me toward this awful show. It's like reading Anne Rice write about traffic. Boring as hell stories about disgusting people doing boring yet disgusting things to other disgusting people in boring and disgusting ways. I don't care that my favorite actors get cameos on it. I don't care that it's about The Industry and I'm an actor/writer/director. It bores the shit out of me for most of it, when it doesn't make me throw up in my mouth a little bit.
The Wii: Yeah, there are some things about it that are cool, and I swear this is my last statement against it. I still think that waving your arms around in front of a TV is neither fun nor good exercise. There's a sub-category for this one: Guitar Hero and Rock Band. Dude. You're not playing music, you're playing a simple first-person shooter game with an unusual and expensive weapon. It has an awesome soundtrack, yes, but don't think for a moment that you are any kind of Hero (or Guitar player). You're not. You're clacking on plastic and mumbling into a microphone. Honestly, I'd rather be in a drum circle. I'd even rather be in a drum circle with crappy drummers and I have to lead.
Ok. Done now. Folks, enjoy your Wii experience! I will say nothing further on the subject unless I'm forced.
Our Current President (as opposed to the President Elect) Dude. Eight years of this turkey. Eight miserable years. Is it done yet? (Checks oven) No, not yeeeeet...
Sarah Palin: I... she... there aren't words, really. My great terror was that *this* was the kind of person a woman had to be to gain a high office in this country. America, thank you for reaffirming my faith in my homeland.
Waffle House: They're in my diner, killing my doods! Ok, so here's the story in brief: Went to Waffle House for lunch on a Sunday afternoon. We ordered the flagship meal. We each ordered it separately, and she kept asking us to repeat our selections because she has to write it down in a special sequence. Our order goes in. Our order shows up, and when she asks us if we need anything, I answer that I want hot syrup (for my waffle.)
No waffle. No waffle. I see waffles cooking, I remind the "waitress" that I have a waffle due me. She apologizes, and then proceeds to take all the cooked waffles away to another diner. Then come back, and *start* cooking my waffle.
My meal is finished. We're ready to leave. We get up, go to pay the bill and she actually says to me, "Do you want that waffle to go?"
No. I want it taken off the bill. This requires her to knuckle a calculator confusedly, because I ordered a meal and the waffle was included. Guess what, Turkey? Go to the menu. Find "waffle" on the menu. Look at the price. Subtract that amount from my bill.
I realize that sometimes I order like a rock star in restaurants. In this case, however, I didn't do anything really unusual, other than asking that the eggs be on their own plate. I do this a lot because I am an egg segregationist, and I really don't like the other parts of my meal interfering with my eggs. But this should not have shorted me a whole waffle... *at the Waffle House!!!* (Of course, being a Dork, I realize that I shouldn't be typing this in my LJ, I should be typing it in a letter to Waffle House Corporate...)
Archon Epic Failures: Thank God all of them were not so epic as to be unrecoverable.
Rich White Dummies. Particularly ones whose houses we have to decorate. (Giggle)
Fleas. Those Turkeys!
Laptop Batteries (when they get old and cranky.) I'm having increasingly frequent laptop issues, which bothers me because it is the best machine in the house. Kukla needs a new battery for Xmas.
And my final Thanksgiving Turkey to share with you good people? The Gobbler.
